Having a friend with benefits is one of the wonderful perks of living in the modern age. However, no matter how fun it might be, this type of relationship also requires a few rules in order to work smoothly. Check out this article to find out more.
Casual, no-strings-attached types of relationships have gained a lot of popularity and media coverage during the last years. There was the popular movie, Friends with Benefits, released back in 2011. There was also a TV show with the same name. Plenty of articles in the media addressed the issue, all wondering the same thing: do these types of relationships work? Well, yes, they do, as long as both partners know what they’re getting into.
Having a friend with benefits can be risky. There’s the possibility of feelings somehow finding their way into the mix, of things getting awkward, of somebody getting hurt in the end. If you’re careful though, you can avoid a pesky outcome and have a lot of fun in the process. We live in busy times, where we work more than anyone else in the world and we get married older than our predecessors. It’s natural to keep looking for the one, but it’s also understandable that so many people decide to settle for less in the meantime.
Wondering what you can do to increase your chances of making your casual relationship work? For starters, follow these six rules.
Ideally, your friend with benefits should be someone outside your close circle of friends or coworkers, to avoid any awkwardness. It should be someone you’re attracted to, but who’s not necessarily your type. Someone with whom you’re not in danger of falling in love, but you’d still enjoy sharing a pizza with. It should be someone you already like to hang out with, and you think it’s fun to have around.
In the don’t category, never start a casual relationship with one of your closest friends or with an ex. Things can get very complicated, very quickly. Also, never agree to such a relationship if you’re already into the person and you hope it will evolve into something more romantic over time. Just because it worked out for Dylan and Jamie in Friends with Benefits doesn’t mean it will go as smoothly for you two. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.
Set Some Boundaries
It’s best to agree on what you both want for the relationship from the very beginning. We’ve read many articles that stated that you should never cuddle with your friend with benefits, send them texts, or kiss them goodbye. However, everybody is different, and you two are the only ones who can decide what works for you. Remember that you’re not strangers with benefits for a reason. It’s normal to experience some degree of affection towards one another, so cuddling might not be completely out of the question. As long as you and your partner don’t get more involved than you should, everything works.
Nonetheless, you must make sure that you both know what you’re getting into. There will be no meeting the parents or taking trips together in the near future. No them taking care of you when you’re sick. No fancy declarations of love. Setting boundaries and ground rules you’re both comfortable with ensures no one feels cheated along the way.
Don’t Get clingy
They don’t respond to your text right away? They’re too busy to hang out one night? They’re seeing someone else? That should be fine by you. Don’t overcomplicate things by getting clingy and demanding their full attention at all times. You’ll suck the fun right out of the whole experience for the both of you.
Really Enjoy It
Make the best of your casual relationship. Since you’re both less invested emotionally, you can try things you’ve always wanted to, but were afraid to ask for. Did you read anything in one of your steamy romance novels you’d like to try out? Go ahead. Do you have a certain fantasy you’d like to engage in? Tell your friend with benefits about it. There shouldn’t be room for judgment in a casual relationship. If there is, you’re doing it wrong, or you didn’t pick the right partner in the first place.
Just because you’ve found someone to hide between the sheets with doesn’t mean that you can put your love life on hold. Friends with benefits are like chocolate cake – they can be addictive and delicious, but they don’t sustain you. Keep looking for someone to start a real relationship with. Remember that you’re still available and very much on the market. So put yourself out there and make time to date.
Don’t Forget About the Expiration Date
A casual relationship comes with an expiration date, so be prepared for that moment. You might meet someone who you’re ready to get serious with, or your partner might. Don’t fight it and try to keep things going more than they should. It’s all part of the game.
A no-strings-attached relationship allows you to relish in all the physical and emotional health benefits of having regular sex, and gives you a much needed confidence boosts. It’s great in theory, but it often fails when one of the partners sets their expectations too high. However, as long as you both agree on the ground rules and follow them thoroughly, there will be no room for confusion and disappointment. All that’s left is to enjoy the ride.